He really brings the best out of me. Isn’t that what they –– significant others –– are supposed to do?
I promise not to get all mushy. But, seriously. He’s…he’s…himself. And I’ve never met anyone else quite like him.
He challenges me. He doesn’t accept my behavior, he questions it. He makes me think, and that’s exactly what he wants. (I think part of this is because he’s a few years older than I am.)
Me: “When I pull up to intersections I always turn my music down.”
Him: “Well, why do you do that?”
Me: “Uhh…I don’t know… I guess because I don’t want people to hear what I’m listening to and I don’t want older people judging me and thinking I’m just another stupid teenager.”
Him: “Why do you care what other people think?”
…yeah. I never know how to answer him when he calls me out on stuff like that. He’s made me realize just how self-conscious I never thought myself to be. Now that I’ve become aware of this little self-esteem problem, I’ve been trying to rid myself of it completely.
He’s also trying to slow me down so I can appreciate the little things. When we went for walks this past weekend, we walked at his pace rather than mine. You wouldn’t believe the difference. Miss Busybody always has something to do and somewhere to go. He’s slowing down the busybody in me. She’s still here, sure, but she knows that she doesn’t always have to be in a hurry just because her chosen career path forces her to be in certain situations.
When I look forward to something, I feel dread mounting up on top of the anticipation. I’m always anticipating the end of things. So, when I found out he planned to visit this past weekend (I looked forward to it for days), I told him how I already felt dread toward Tuesday, the set day of his departure. He told me to focus on enjoying the moment, instead.
“Don’t think about what comes afterward,” he said. So that’s what I did. I focused on the way his hand felt to hold, his musical laughter, his smile and our many conversations. It was hard to watch him leave, but I just smiled. I’d focused so much on the moment that, by the time this morning rolled around, it felt right. It needed to happen, much to my chagrin.
On top of the plethora of deep thoughts and conversations, he makes me laugh like an idiot. Oh, and he plays guitar and sings to me.
I’m doing just fine. : )