I have found you a seeker

Brand yourself. Set yourself apart.

That’s what I am in training to do.

But.

The world is populated by billions of people. How the hell  do I stand out in a crowd without clearly crying for attention? How the hell do I come up with new ideas when new ideas are scarce? Chances are, my so-called “original” thoughts and ideas are not original after all.

That poetry that I think could be publish-able? It probably isn’t.

That novel I want to write and change the world with? I’ll turn 60 years old and wonder why the idea never came to me like it was supposed to.

I’d like to set the world on fire and leave it smoldering in my wake. Right now my sparks are feeble. Frustratingly weak.

***

When I was around three years old, my diaper served as a flotation device for me as I bobbed up and down in the family swimming pool.

Mom was mowing the lawn. Suddenly, the lawn mower quit on her. She decided she’d better look for me; she didn’t know where I’d gone.

My brothers, who were watching Jurassic Park of course, had not seen me.

I could see a ball floating on the pool’s surface and I remember wanting to play with it terribly. I climbed over the pool fence and leaned over the pool, trying to scoop the ball up into a paper cup I’d found.

Splash. 

I fell right in. I can remember seeing gold things floating above the water from my view below.

Our next door neighbor  – a nurse – had the day off…a day of the week she didn’t normally have off.

I remember vomiting on my mother in the car. The E.R. was a scary place full of needles.

I got better. The “gold things” were decidedly angels I had seen. Dr. Klocke called me a “miracle child.”

***

We are all here for a reason. It’d be senseless for billions of people to inhabit the earth, only to have a few make an inkling of a difference. We will all change the world. Things happen like a domino effect and we’re more connected than we’ll ever realize. Still, some will make more of a difference than others. Some will seek change. Only some of them will find it.

I evaded death. There has to be a reason why the water didn’t just swallow me that day.

Now I’m just waiting for that reason to smack me in the head one of these days and announce itself.

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