You’re breaking, Benjamin

Can’t you see it when you look in the mirror? I can’t see you, but I can feel it. I can feel that things have changed and they won’t ever be the same.

Seeing you over the summer was definitely the highlight of it. It was under unfortunate circumstances, sure, but it was still so nice to see you. It was like having another Trevor around (which I can’t say enough). The two of you are twins. It seemed like all of the things we had heard about you had never happened. Not once did I think of the you I had heard about over the past four years. I only thought about the one I saw. The happy-go-lucky witty 20-year-old that couldn’t stop laughing. The one that wouldn’t stop picking on me and treating me like the little sister you never had. The one that I had missed so much over the years without even realizing it.

But, now, what I’m hearing depresses me. I’m wondering what happened to the young man I became acquainted with over the summer. I’m wondering what happened to the teenage kid that ate dog food years and years ago because I told you that Reggie wanted you to try it. I’m wondering what happened to that smiley kid that seemed to always have a broken arm. I miss the chubby younger version of you that was innocent and unaware.

But, I’m not going to intervene. It’s your life. Live it how you want. I just hope that maybe you’ll think of us, the ones that are worried about you, before you do something stupid again. Just because we’re not closeby does not mean that we don’t care.

Love,

Emily

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