A year later

https://blackbyrd.wordpress.com/2008/09/02/the-end/

I cannot believe that it has been a whole year since I experienced that day and wrote that post. Everything is so different now. Adam’s gone, Jordan’s home, a new puppy is wandering around the house, two kitties that I didn’t even know a year ago are causing havoc constantly, and my mom has a new job. She’s not talking on the phone behind me anymore, and Adam’s not downstairs watching a movie with his surround sound. Today, I DID get a hair cut (what a coincidence!), but, it’s not as short as it was.

I’m up in my room right now, cuddling up with my mom’s work laptop in my fuzzy purple chair. My right ear hears the night bugs warning me about winter, my left ear hears Imogen Heap’s voice. But, my mind isn’t on any of that. School starts tomorrow. And though I haven’t gotten it through to myself yet, I know that once it starts it does not stop until June. I’m having trouble accepting this.

A year ago I sat in the corner of the kitchen and poured my heart out. I lived last summer to the fullest. I even watched the sun go down on that last day a year ago! I was sorry to see that summer go, and yes, I’m sad to see this one go, but I didn’t do any special rituals. I didn’t even have my yearly bonfire this year! Last year I made sure I would remember that last day of summer vacation. Today, I’m just going to let it be. I went for a walk, that’s enough. Now I’m just going to pop a PM, take a shower, read, and then let the pill do its job.

Tomorrow, the first issue of NeXt comes out for the season. I am going to have two stories in, so I’m pumped for that. I guess I’m just not looking forward to having to deal with people tomorrow. All summer I get to choose who I want to see. Tomorrow I won’t be able to. Tomorrow I’m back to the daily grind, and try as I might, I can’t make myself believe that planet Earth turns slowly, because it doesn’t. I’m going to be a junior tomorrow, even though it seems like just yesterday I was ogling at the fact that I was to be a freshman.

Here I am, a year later. Once again, I’m dreading the inevitable.

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