Everything is a blur to me now.
My whole seventh grade year of running cross-country and track has been erased from my memory. I remember events that took place, but I don’t remember ever actually running (though I did of course). Once I’m done with a race, I put it behind me and that’s that. I remember my first track meet at Holland (and we haven’t gone there since) where I missed my first open 800 meter race because I was too busy flirting with my then crush who is now my boyfriend. Going to Sectionals at Olean that year for the 4X800 is a blur. I don’t even remember what leg I ran for that relay race, but I do remember being concerned about a problem with my uniform. That’s about it.
Eighth grade is the same way. I remember running the 1500 at Super 8s (which was held at Franklinville instead of Salamanca) and getting fifth place. My coach told me that if I got a time under 5:15 he would buy me a shirt from the meet. I ended up with 5:14.something and he had to buy me one. I had never felt such satisfaction until that day. At the county championship meet that year (held at Strider Field in Jamestown) he told me not to try in the 1500. Well, I didn’t, but I ended up getting my best time that year: 5:11. But, it is still all a blur. Don’t even ask me about Sectionals that year. I remember lounging around in our tent and falling asleep with Cliff, but I could not tell you about my races. I ran around that track at Starpoint 14 times that meet, but all I remember is waving to my dad during my 3000 meter race (I was so excited to see him!) and being super sweaty after my 1500 (don’t even ask me for the time).
Ninth grade was phenomenal. I won the 1500 at Super 8s that year and got second in the steeplechase at Sectionals. I set one school record after the other. I came to love the 800 and the 1500.
This year I beat myself many a time. I reset my records in the 800 and 1500, but the steeplechase record from last year still stands (I only ran it once this year). But, it amazes me that I can barely remember anything from my early years of running. All of those races are a blur to me. They must have been painful, but they cannot be as painful as the races I have experienced in the last two years.
Sorry for my rambling, I just think it’s cool that I forget races as soon as they are finished. I cannot tell you how it even felt to run the 800 or 1500 this year at Sectionals or even last year. Once they’re done, they’re done and there’s nothing more I can do. That’s just how it is.