You couldn’t possibly understand

I’m nice right now, man
I-I feel good
If you have a drink
Would you please put it in the air?

That party last night was awfully crazy I wish we taped it
I danced my ass off and had this one girl completely naked
Drink my beer and smoke my weed but my good friends is all I need
Pass out at 3, wake up at 10, go out to eat then do it again
Man, I love college

I wanna go to college for the rest of my life
Sip Banker’s Club and drink Miller Lite
On Thirsty Thursday and Tuesday Night Ice
And I can get pizza a dollar a slice

So fill up my cup, let’s get fucked up
I’m next on the table, who want what?
I am champion at beer pong
Allen Iverson, Hakeem Olajuwon

Don’t even bounce, not in my house
Better hope you make it otherwise you naked
Time isn’t wasted when you’re getting wasted
Woke up today and all I could say is

Um, that party last night was awfully crazy I wish we taped it
I danced my ass off and had this one girl completely naked
Drink my beer and smoke my weed but my good friends is all I need
Pass out at 3, wake up at 10, go out to eat then do it again

Man, I love college, ay!
And I love drinking, ay!
I love women, ay!
Man, I love college

I can’t tell you what I learned from school but
I could tell you a story or two, um
Yeah, of course I learned some rules
Like don’t pass out with your shoes on
(Get the Sharpie!)

And don’t leave the house ’til the booze gone
(No, we’re not leaving)
And don’t have sex if she’s too gone
When it comes to condoms put two on
(Trust me)
Then tomorrow night find a new jawn

Hold the beer bong, nothing wrong with some fun
(Here, hold this)
Even if we did get a little bit too drunk
Time isn’t wasted when you’re getting wasted
Woke up today and all I could say is

That party last night was awfully crazy I wish we taped it
(I wish we taped)
I danced my ass off and had this one girl completely naked
Drink my beer and smoke my weed but my good friends is all I need
Pass out at 3, wake up at 10, go out to eat then do it again

Man, I love college, ay!
I love drinking, ay!
I love women, ay!
I love college

Now if everybody would please
Put their drink as high as they can
As high as they can
(As high as they can)
And repeat after me

Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!
Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!
Freshmen! Freshmen!
Freshmen! Freshmen!

Do something’ crazy! Do somethin’ crazy!
Do something’ crazy! Do somethin’ crazy!
Keg stand! Keg stand!
Keg stand! Keg stand!

(That party last night)
Man, I love college
I love it!
(That party last night)
Alright everybody, I gotta head back to class for a little bit

That party last night was awfully crazy I wish we taped it
(I wish we taped)
(You know it’s going down)
I danced my ass off and had this one girl completely naked
Drink my beer and smoke my weed but my good friends is all I need
(You’re all invited, bring your friends)
Pass out at 3, wake up at 10, go out to eat then do it again
Man, I love college

Do I really have to graduate?
Or can I just stay here for the rest of my life?

Oh, by the way, if you didn’t know, those are lyrics to the song “I Love College” by Asher Roth. I have never taken the time to listen to the inappropriate song, but I’ve read the lyrics. How stupid. I don’t understand college students. Maybe I won’t understand until I am one, but right now they all seem incredibly stupid and should be stripped of any diplomas they receive.

I cannot stand these girls that come back to town after one year of college. They return with their hair dyed super dark and a tan that is obviously way too fake to be real. Again, this may be a trend that I just can’t possibly understand until I have reached that age, but for now this change (to me) seems dramatic when I see the girl who used to have beautiful blonde or brown hair come back and find that it’s jet black. It’s a shame, really.

Another thing I just don’t understand is the necessity for tattoos and body piercings. These people that get giant tattoos while they are off at college are going to look at their naked selves in the mirror in twenty years and think why the hell did I ever get this stupid tattoo? Yeah, why did you ever get that stupid thing? I’ll probably end up  getting a tattoo…but it’s not going to be a giant work of art that goes across my entire body. It’ll be something small that can easily be hidden should I have a job interview in the future (hopefully I do haha).

Maybe I just cannot possibly understand.

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