The cherry on top

I had two choices.

Either I lose my sanity and do the musical this year, or I keep my sanity in check and just focus on school and running instead.

Guess which option I chose?

If you’re thinking the first one, you’re an idiot. I may be crazy enough as it is, but I still have my sanity. I think.

Anyway, they changed the musical to “The Wiz” and I was like, “see ya!” And, that’s that. I’m done. I chose my road, remember? It doesn’t involve the yellow brick one that probably appears in “The Wiz.” I chose the lovely red brick one.

So, instead of spending my nights at the school, I’ve gotten stuff done. Good stuff.

I did a project on the novel Jane Eyre. It definitely had the “wow” factor to it. I made a powerpoint, and modeled the sentences after the Dick & Jane books. (Ex: See Jane. See Jane run. Jane runs fast. Run, Jane run!) The best part? Because I was trying to get the point across that Jane Eyre is, in fact, gothic literature, I used Emily The Strange as Jane. Yeah, that’s right. 13-year-old Emily starred in my little movie as Jane Eyre. I was so proud of myself, and I could tell that my AP English teacher was impressed. The icing on the cake? The cherry on top? “Aha!” by Imogen Heap accompanied Jane (Emily) on all of her little adventures. I will never tire of that song. Ever.

Ever since I decided not to be involved in the musical, my life has gotten better. I have no unnecessary stress. Right now I’d be down at the school, but instead I’m here. I’m writing for two newspapers, a website, my blog, doing homework and running cross-country…I don’t have time to participate in silly musicals. There’s no point. It’s hard to walk away, but what’s done is done. My presentation wouldn’t have turned out as well as it did if I had had to be at the school rehearsing last night. And, that’s that.

It’s nice to have her back

I’m weird. That’s what I have learned over the past few days.

I had a few birthday parties to attend this past week (because it seems that everyone’s birthday falls on the SAME DAY). I had to celebrate my grandma’s for a few hours before attending the first one, so that’s what I did. We ate my mom’s special dessert, and I was itching to go, so I hopped on my bike and away I went. I arrived and they were watching a movie. And a really stupid one at that. I’m not a fan of stupid humor movies, so I obviously really didn’t like Airplane. I was also busy focusing on the boy behind me who was hugging me and running his hands through my hair. That can be distracting.

Because I’ve discovered just how much I love being all in my lonesome, I hate being around people. Even people I usually enjoy being around. I couldn’t wait to go home (well, of course, I stopped by my grandparents’ before going home).

The next day is when I found out how weird I am.

I went to another friend’s house (and was kind of dreading it because she doesn’t exactly invite all of the greatest people in the world), and was seriously like a little social butterfly. I went from group to group, just talking to everybody. I suddenly turned into my old outgoing self. I haven’t seen that part of me in quite awhile. It was nice to have her back. There was a specific group I hung out with (with didn’t include my boyfriend, oddly enough), and we even walked to my house to get my Pretty Pretty Princess board game we’d been itching to play. So, we did. In the dark of the trampoline. And swore at the game to make it more exciting.

After a summer of just wanting to be alone, feeling the urge to mingle and be around people was nice. I found a best friend in a girl I haven’t taken the time to talk to lately, and we’ve made plans to hang out all the time. I’m sorry I dreaded what turned out to be an awesome night.

From death and funerals to stem cell research and abortion

Cross country season picked back up again. On Monday morning I was awakened by a song coming out of my iHome speaker at 7:30 (which is much too early to meet my approval, I’ll let you know). I got up, showered, grabbed some Cinnamon Toast Crunch and put it in my bag, and then was out the door and on my bike, heading for the high school.

We started running. That’s what you do in cross country, if you didn’t know. We ran up prison hill. Some were encouraged to go on and run around the entire prison (the prison that Lindsay Lohan’s dad was kept, oddly enough), and I was one of those encouraged. I felt great. I had started out in the way back with a couple of my fellow teammates on the girls’ team, but little by little I had inched all the way up to the people that had fallen behind from the leading pack. I passed two newly instated runners and then fell into pace with the smartest kid in our entire school. My plan was to catch up to the leading pack which consisted of my best friend, my boyfriend, and another friend, but instead, he (being the smartest kid) and I started talking. We started talking about stuff that really mattered. Important issues, problems, and beliefs. It was nice to have an intelligent conversation, and it distracted me so much that I didn’t even notice when we passed another kid that had fallen behind from that same leading pack.

Our discussions ranged from death and funerals to stem cell research and abortion. It was like we went through the entire endless cycle of life during that one discussion we had during our run. I told him about the funeral I had had to go to recently and the unfortunate situation it had to be under, and then he shared how once when he was younger he had two funerals in one day to go to. We discussed how we both are not sure if there is a God up there and the hypocritical actions that are associated with members of the Church.

Then came the abortion topic, which then lead to a conversation chock-full of stem cell research. I had heard about it, but wasn’t exactly sure what it was all about. He informed me of everything about it (seeing as how it had been the topic he’d chosen for the recent research paper he’d had to do). What I don’t understand is why people are against it. And, it ties in with the abortion thing. I think that women should be allowed to make the decision of whether or not they want to abort their pregnancy. Let people frown upon a mother’s decision to abort her pregnancy, but if that mother is not ready to be a mother, then why not? If that girl is carrying the baby as the result of a rape she doesn’t want to be reminded of, why not let her make the decision to rid her body of that growing embryo? And, if every woman or girl that decides to have an abortion also donates the stem cells within them, that could initially save lives. You go from “killing” something that doesn’t quite exist yet to saving someone whose liver is failing or is in vital need of a heart transplant and just needs a donor.

Let stem cell research carry on! Let it save lives despite the many frowns of disgust it is receiving! We were put on this earth somehow and are now being plagued by disease left and right. If we’ve discovered a way we can cure, why not carry on and finish it? It means having one less child to feed, sure, but it also means one less person hanging out in an isolation room in the hospital just waiting for that heart or liver or lung or whatever to come. I say that science makes more sense than God. Science can save lives when God obviously can’t.

Blue by U!

When I got that phone call I seriously wanted to slam the phone down and run to my room.

Thoughts running through my mind during the telephone call: HELP OUT WITH A YOUTH TRACK PROGRAM?!?!?!? Can she possibly be SERIOUS?!?!?  I stopped babysitting because I reached the realization that I DON’T like kids. Now that I’ve agreed to help out I have to spend every Tuesday and Thursday with a bunch of little brats? What am I getting myself into?

Yeah, that’s about it. She asked me to help coach the Blue by U track program with Kevin and Cliff who had already spent time coaching for a week and a half. Last year she had a group of children only half the size of the group this year. She was in over her head. But just a little bit.

So, I said “sure!” …and then I wanted to crawl into a hole and never come out. She sounded desperate, and that won me over. It wasn’t that I spoke before I thought (I’ve learned that thinking before speaking is essential in this world), it was that I truly wanted to help out. I’m glad I said “sure!”

A month later, here I am. The program is over (well, they have a meet on Thursday, but I have plans with friends that day so I am unable to attend) and I’m really glad that I offered my services. I met a great bunch of kids (and sure, a few pips here and there). The girls basically worshiped me and the boys never stopped trying to race me with hopes of beating me (I may have crushed their spirits a bit). The coaches thought Cliff, Kevin, Christian and I were experts on everything having to do with track. I guess we all kind of are. We’re all running nerds.

All in all, it was a great experience. The kids I got to work with were great (for the most part). The girls that acted bratty around the boys (Cliff, Kevin and Christian) ended up being absolute sweethearts to me. The boys that were troublemakers for me ended up loving all of the older boys. I was just like the girls when I was little. I didn’t want anything to do with boys, and whenever I saw an older girl (like the age I am now) I wanted to be their best friend. That’s exactly what these girls did to me. They wouldn’t leave me alone. It was really neat.

I’m glad I volunteered. Not only can I walk away from the track with a smile on my face, but I can also put this on any resumé I make up in the future with Coach Jen as my reference. She suckered me into all this, and I’m really glad she did. I had a blast.

‘Tis the season

It feels good to be back in the swing of things. After taking two months off, I am back and hopefully will be better than ever.

Instead of going home to a TV chock full of possibilities and a cupboard of chips and unhealthy snacks, two of my best friends and myself go running everyday after school. After cross-country ended, we all sort of stopped. Now we have greeted running like an old friend we’ve missed greatly.

The feeling of running is like no other. That freedom; the endless possibility. The knowledge that though yes, cars and modern transportation are faster, our legs can also do the job just as well. Give us time and we will run for miles and miles.

Track is just around the corner, and I intend to make this year even better than last year (and last year was phenomenal for me). I feel great, running feels good, and the air just doesn’t smell as sweet as it does when you’re running. The heavy breathing, the struggling to talk to the person you’re running with – I’ve missed it greatly. I cannot wait for the Track season to begin. My intentions and confidence will take me far.

Should have, would have, could have, but did not

Oh darn! It’s dark out now! I guess it’s too late to go for a run. Dammit! I guess I will just have to remain planted here, at the computer, writing and writing and writing.

Right now I should probably be upstairs reading some Huck Finn for English, but I am sick of boys and would rather read something concerning Gemma Doyle instead. I guess you could say that I relate to girls more than I do to the opposite gender. Hmm..I wonder why…? Although it is kind of ironic that my favorite book is The Catcher In The Rye. Well, I’m sure that once I finish the Gemma Doyle trilogy that my current favorite book status will change. Although yes, I love Holden and “old Phoebe.”

Hmm…I should probably be upstairs studying for the Earth Science and Geometry tests that my teachers happened to schedule on the same exact day. Both are really big tests, and they are two of my weakest subjects. Yes, I should probably be studying. Oh well…

If I keep putting everything off, I will be all set and be on my way to play rehearsal. After play rehearsal, I can come home and do some reading or brush up on some blue shift or the different phases of the moon. I could, but there is some sort of gravitational pull (ha!) that lures me to the computer and my blog whenever I get home. When I get home tonight, I will say “meh…I have a study hall in the morning – I’ll just take care of everything then.” When first period study hall arrives tomorrow, I will be busy knitting – my homework and my study packets all put away, safe, sound, and forgotten.

So, though I should be reading…and I should have ran today…and I probably should have paid more attention in Geometry so I won’t fail miserably on Wednesday, I would much rather write. Procrastination is my weapon of choice. Watch me stay up all night the night before something is due and then kill you with it in the morning. Sure, I procrastinate up the wazoo, but I always manage to get it done…eventually.

Maybe I’ll run tomorrow…or the next day…or the next day…or the next day…or the next day…well, you get the idea.

The end

Today is over. It came and went. Everything that I predicted came true, but there were also a few twists.

I woke up at ten o’clock, just like any other gorgeous summer morning. I rolled around on my bed for a little while before I decided that it really was time to get up. No use wasting the day, right?

The sky today was crystal clear, as was yesterday and the day before that and the day before that. Absolutely no clouds in sight. I wallowed around the house, munching a bowl full of Cinnamon Toast Crunch and looking out the window. I finally stepped outside at one o’clock to get my hair cut.

I walked out of The Chop Shop (local hair place – run by a family friend) a whole new person, my hair shorter and more wild with curls. Of course, I had to ruin it by putting it into tiny little piggy tails for cross country practice.

Practice was hell. H-E-double-hockey sticks. We ran over to Prison Hill, and did hill repeats… In the blistering heat. We did six and then my friend and I ran back to the school together with our shirts lifted up, trying to catch even the slightest hint of a breeze.

I got home and took a dip in the pool (which was FREEZING), and then made breffast fo’ dinna. I barely had enough energy to enjoy the meal I had made, I was so wiped out from practice.

As promised, after dinner my mother drove me to the gravel pit to get a good view of the sun drowning in the sky. We had a hard time getting a good view without burning our eyes out of our sockets, but we eventually settled in and watched the sun disappear.

Now, here I am. My tummy is full, my body is tired, and my eyes are droopy with sleepiness. My hair is wild, my nails are perfectly groomed and polished, and my eyebrows have been plucked to perfection (by who else but moi?). My mother is talking on the phone behind me, I hear the sounds of the TV displaying baseball in the next room, watched by who else but my baseball-crazed dad. I can hear the movie my brother is watching from here because of the insane surround sound system he hooked up. I am tired, and there are noises all around me. I am so glad that I actually did keep my promise and watch the sunset, but now, all I want to do is curl up with a book and read until I am cross-eyed. My body is tired, and I am ready to retire to my bedroom where I will greet the new day. My friend instant messaged me and asked me if I am ready for hell tomorrow. I guess I will have to live through a day and decide whether this year will be hell or not. As of now, I really cannot judge.

Quote of the day:

“When it rains, it fricken pours!”

Tomorrow mourning

Tomorrow morning will arrive and announce itself as the last morning of vacation. Tomorrow will bring the first of many lasts.

I will wake up at around ten o’clock tomorrow morning and roll over, rubbing my eyes the whole time. I will then sit up and admire my newly cleaned out closet and maybe turn my iPod on for a minute and enjoy some of my favorite tunes. It will be the last morning where I can lazily creep out of bed and head downstairs without shooting worrisome looks at the clock. I will help myself to whatever food I can find in the kitchen, and then laze away by the pool or watch some TV until I have to attend cross country practice.

By this time tomorrow night, I will be in bed staring out my window. I will have already watched the sun go down, mourning the last sunset of my summer. The night bugs will provide a mournful chorus as I glance around my room and see my outfit all set out for the morning. Tonight is the last night that I can stay up until God knows when and then wake up late. The mellow drone of the bugs will lull me to sleep, and the next morning I will wake up to one of the carefully picked out songs bursting out of my iHome. I will then lie in bed for a full thirty minutes, wondering what awaits me when I enter that same old school building.

Fast approaching

There are fiery orange leaves scattered on our driveway and front lawn. The air has suddenly grown cooler, and our pool is “too cold” to swim in. My neighbor’s blueberries are beginning to ripen, a delicious result that is usually reached by late August. Yes, summer is inching its way towards the finish line.

It seems like just yesterday that my two brothers came home from college and dumped their belongings in our garage. “Excuse the mess, it’s Trevor and Jordan’s college supplies,” the excuse I used when I led my friends through our messy garage is no longer usable. Today, we dumped Trevor off at SUNY Fredonia, and helped my eldest brother Jordan move into his new townhouse at St. Bonaventure University where he will begin his senior year of college. Yet another sign that summer is dwindling.

Tomorrow begins my 2008 Cross Country season. Tomorrow morning at approximately eight o’clock, I will roll out of bed in order to get ready and be at the school by nine o’clock. No, I don’t take a million years to get ready like most girls out there do, I just need some time to actually get going on eating breakfast and waking up. Usually I just lay and listen to my iPod for half an hour, and then glance at the clock only to find that I needed to be out of bed thirty minutes earlier.

In previous years, I have dreaded the start of Cross Country. I definitely prefer Track, but I have a feeling that this year is going to be my year. I am planning on using practices and meets for letting out stress instead of creating more. I will have a hectic schedule once school starts on September third, and I am going to have to learn to balance all of my activities. Once school begins, I will be waking up at 5:30, getting to school by 7:30, getting let out of school at 2:07, proceeding on to Cross Country practice from 2:30 to 4:30, and then going home for an hour to prepare for getting back down to the school by six o’clock for musical rehearsal. Last year I handled it, but this year I feel like I am more prepared for it. I am still in great shape from Track last June (I have not stopped running), so I will not be sore from CC practices. Schoolwork will probably be the most challenging for I know that there will be more coming my way, along with writing weekly articles for NeXt.

Yes, summer is reaching the end. Yesterday summer began, and tomorrow it is over. It has been a nice two months of doing absolutely nothing other than running every few days and attending a theater workshop for a week. I have enjoyed discovering the wonders of having a bicycle and with it, the ability to go anywhere I want. I have visited the local library on numerous occasions and have devoured over twenty books so far this vacation. My summer reading book for Honors English has yet to be read, but I know that I will not have any problems getting into it once I get my hands on a copy. Though the fiery leaves that have scattered over my lawn make me angry, I am also accepting and looking forward to the upcoming change. Once school starts I won’t ever have a chance to be bored. For these next two weeks, I am going to be enjoying the feeling of having nothing to do.

Setting the pace

When I do not feel like hearing nature on a run, I just plug into my iPod and take off. Here are songs that help me through a long, exhausting run; derived from my “Workout Tunes” playlist.

“Bleeding Mascara” – Atreyu

“Bodies” – Drowning Pool (Really gets me pumped!)

“Milkshake” – Goodnight Nurse (A cover of the song by Kelis, but in my opinion a hell of a lot better.)

“Sydney” – Halifax

“Love Me Or Hate Me” – Lady Sovereign

“Frontline” – Pillar

“Come On Eileen” – Save Ferris (A cover of the old ’80s tune by Dexy’s Midnight Runners.)

“Calling All Cars” – Senses Fail

“Don’t Hold Back” – The Sleeping

“Crank That (Screamo)” – I Set My Friends On Fire

“Fat Lip” – Sum 41

“All About Us” – t.A.T.u.

“Prayer Of The Refugee” – Rise Against

“Injection” – Rise Against

“Vertigo” – Marianas Trench

“What I Always Wanted” – Kittie

“My Curse” – Killswitch Engage

“The Running Free” – Coheed and Cambria

“Becoming The Bull” – Atreyu

“Stiff Kittens” – Blaqk Audio