Happy anniversary!

Today is the one-year anniversary of my blog’s and my relationship.

Happy anniversary, honey. It’s been real. I wish I had a corny Hallmark card or something to give you, but I don’t, so you’re going to have to accept my mediocre substitute by writing a post to, well, post on you.

May we spend many more years together.

I lived today

I started early, took my bike

and visited the creek.

The sparkles on the water

came out to look at me.

For my new job I am both the writer and the photographer. So, for the story I am working on at this moment I set out early this morning to capture the necessary photographs.

I learned today that it is not all about me. For my job I am merely a bystander capturing happenings in the lives of others. I’m slowly adjusting to the fact that for my future I cannot write about myself, much as I want to. That’s what I have a blog for.

I rode my bike downtown with my rucksack in tow. My rucksack held my camera, two memory cards, Pandora, a bike lock, a notebook or two, a bottle of water and a pen (of course!). I timed myself and found that it took about twenty minutes to get all the way down to St. John’s park with Tilly and the Wall keeping me company the entire way. I got there, was shaking a little bit when I had to lock my bike up, but I swallowed my nervousness and got right to work. I wandered around snapping pictures left and right. 10-15 minutes later, I was finished. I unlocked my bike and rode off into the sunset (okay, not really).

I visited the office where I work and asked for my portfolio back, and then, with that added onto the load I was carrying on my back, I rode on to Tim Horton’s and got myself a well-deserved Iced Cap. The cashier (whose nametag revealed that her name was Hayley and that she was “in training”) told me that she loved my wallet and added an “Emily the Strange, right?” to which I nodded and said “I’m obsessed” and she added in her love for Emily as well. I was planning on staying in the restaurant and writing by myself, but I was surrounded by old people and the weather was too nice out to be inside.

I steered my bike with one hand over to Creekside Park and sat on the cement block that juts out of the ground. I enjoyed my Iced Cap and watched the water. Then I removed my notebooks and pen from my rucksack and added onto the assignment I already started. I sat there on that cement block just enjoying being really alone for the first time in a long time. I wrote a poem that I am really proud of and just enjoyed the little bit of nature hidden in our little village. I discovered that I really like being alone. I didn’t have to talk to anyone. I didn’t have to deal with anyone. I didn’t have to worry whether or not my companion was having a good time or not because, well, I did not have a companion. Some people can’t deal with being alone, but I definitely handle it well.

After my realization I was in such a good mood that I mounted my bike with Tilly in my ears again and took a leisurely ride through the neighborhoods that surrounded me. I probably received several dirty looks for smiling for no reason (nobody seems to smile anymore!) and singing along to the music playing in my ears, but I didn’t care. I couldn’t stop. I haven’t been this happy in a long time. The weather was nice, I used all five of my senses, and I actually lived today. I took a couple hours off from reality and really lived. I enjoyed every minute of it.

“Ignorance” is my new best friend

I think I have listened to the song “Ignorance” over ten times. And sure, that’s not a lot compared to the people that have played it 500 times and more, but that’s a big number for me. I don’t like to listen to the same song all the time; I like to mix it up a bit. Listening to “Ignorance” over 500 times in one sitting would make me hate it.

It still sounds like Paramore. The title looks like a word Paramore would use. I’m sure that if I were to taste the song it would taste like Paramore (whatever that flavor is). Hayley’s voice seems a little edgier in this song than any song I have ever heard her sing. It’s still beautiful, of course, but this makes me anxious to hear the other tracks on the new album Brand New Eyes. I have a live version of “Where The Lines Overlap,” but it’s so hard to listen to something that has screaming from people at the concert in the background. I guess I will have to wait until September 29th.

All We Know Is Falling is still my favorite Paramore album and has been since its release in 2005. Maybe this Brand New Eyes will top it. I don’t know though; it’s always hard to beat the original.

I cannot wait until September 29th.

And I’m disgusted

Everybody annoys me. People, as a whole, annoy me. On Friday my mother and I were running some necessary errands. I didn’t feel like getting out of the car for one of the stores she entered, so I sat and people-watched. People disgust me.

Many of these people were obviously doing some last-minute shopping for their Independence Day shindigs. Nearly every person I saw emerging from the store were overweight. It angered me. Here these people were, coming out of the store laden with huge bags of food; food they could all devour while sitting around a fire enjoying a beer or two. Some of these people didn’t need anymore food to enter their bodies. Then a mental image entered my mind and made me laugh-out-loud. All I could see were these overweight people out in the wilderness employing their instincts to help catch some meat to feed their families. With the hunt for the necessary food came exercise; it’s a win-win situation. Too bad that won’t ever be the way things are ever again.

People that are overweight disgust me. Especially the people that are overweight and complain about their current state of health. They can definitely do something about it, but instead they all sit in front of the TV or in front of the computer (much like I am doing now). The difference between them and me is that I feel awful after sitting at the computer for an hour. I know that my body should be up and doing something. Overweight and virtually obese people can’t seem to feel this.

As I was sitting there and people-watching, I became even more disgusted. A lady and her husband(?) left the store. They went over to their car with the cart to unload what they had purchased. The man got in the driver’s seat, and the woman came back to the front of the store to return the cart. Instead of going all the way to the cart corral, she stopped in front of the doors and left it there. As she was walking away, the cart (being on a slanted slab of concrete) started moving, and before she even knew what was going on it traveled all the way to the back of the parking lot and slammed into a Jeep that was parked there. She hurriedly got the cart, put it all the way into the corral this time, and then joined her husband(?) in their vehicle. I watched them talk for a little while, and just when I thought they were going to get out of their car and leave a note on the Jeep explaining what happened, the man started the engine and off they went.

People have no class, they don’t know when to stop eating, college students need to learn how to spell and use punctuation properly, people need to stop overusing the last letter of words and using semi-colons up the wazoo and parents need to learn how to control their children. There, now I have that off of my chest.

Thirteen poems later…

Thirty days hath September, April, June and November…

Throughout this 2009 month of June I:

1. wrote thirteen poems,
2. apparently listened to 398 songs from iTunes while sitting at my computer (and I’m still adding onto that number),
3. learned that some people believe that the black bits in a banana are tarantula eggs,
4. watched Charlie’s Angels with a friend – and laughed at all of the horrible special effects,
5. ran the fastest 1500 I have ever run and reset my school record (4:54),
6. helped reset our school record once again in the 4X800 (split time: 2:24),
7. volunteered for a youth track program,
8. met a little girl who coined herself the name “Taco,”
9. read the first-ever Emily the Strange novel,
10. got writing advice from the co-author of that first Emily novel,
11. laughed my ass off over a cooler that had a sign labeled “MILK,”
12. watched my youngest older brother graduate from high school,
13. ate several giant strawberry flavored marshmallows,
14. finished my sophomore year of high school,
15. took three grueling NYS Regents exams,
16. received my last report card for this school year and was surprised by the grade I earned without even trying,
17. did enough laundry to last me a lifetime,
18. found my Pretty Pretty Princess game which I had not been able to locate for the longest time,
19. found tears rolling down my cheeks after the announcement one of my favorite teachers had to give,
20. conducted several angry rants in my head toward certain people,
21. petted little golden retriever puppies, one after the other,
22. wore pretty pink heels with chains,
23. created my very first portfolio in hopes of securing another writing job,
24. shared many secrets with one of my very best friends,
25. revisited The Waterfall with my boyfriend, and got pushed into the steady stream of cold water,
26. pretended to be Chinese/Japanese ping pong players with my friend and my brother’s friend,
27. got one of my favorite songs RUINED by a couple of my friends who went to college and suddenly discovered the hidden meaning of it,
28. learned that people down in central Pennsylvania often slip and say “let’s go hale some bay!”,
29. strapped parachutes onto little kids and watched them run around and
30. lived and breathed during every single one of these.

So, I guess this is goodbye, June. You and May are my two most favorite months of the year, and both of you are over already. Thanks for the rain, the sun, the wind and the thunder and lightning. I’ll see you next year; the last June before the June of my high school graduation. What a scary thought.

Painted-on faces

Dark eyeliner in the wrong spot
and dark shadow to match,
they strut around with blackened eyes;
the future’s freshly baked batch.

Makeup applied in a liberal amount
cover-up, concealer and blush.
It’s oh-so-obvious what they’re trying to hide;
it’s their “flaws” from the latest crush.

Find me a girl who knows what she wants;
who feels no reason to hide
behind tubes, sticks and tubs of makeup
who can put blemishes aside.

I laugh at those girls,
the ones with the painted-on faces.
They need to learn a tiny little lesson:
Makeup covers; it never erases.

~EMS

Sunday

6/28/09

1:00 AM

Out of bed at the crack of noon

Yeah, I just got up. Fifteen minutes ago, to be exact. I thought I would wake up and be home alone for a few blessed hours, but of course that is not the case. Two of my three older brothers are in the other room right now tinkering with their laptops. They went out to get Adam the latest Mac laptop with his graduation money. Did I mention that it comes with a free iPod Touch? Guess who he didn’t give it to? He gave it to his favorite brother; the one who already owns a 30GB iPod whereas I have a tiny little 4GB nano. But hey, I’m not complaining (and yes, I’ll admit it, Trevor’s 3o gig is old).

Things that already happened today:

• I rolled around in bed for awhile contemplating the unwelcoming idea of getting up,
• Eloise came downstairs dragging along with her (in her mouth) a pair of my underwear which she surely must have scavenged from my open drawer upstairs,
• Eloise left for a little while, then returned with the fur that goes on one of my vests which she is OBSESSED with,
• I looked outside and found that the sun was actually shining,
• my brother informed me that there is a thunderstorm warning for today and
• I became sad.

Things I HAVE to do today:

1. Clean my room,
2. clean my room
3. and clean my room.

In my recent crazy tizzy of cleaning our entire house, I neglected to include my poor, colorful teenage room. That’s what I am going to do today. I thought about having a friend over, but then I remembered that she is in Kentucky with her church (more on that later, maybe, if I feel like it).

Time to clean! I’ll plug my iPod into my record player and start chuggin’ away.

Closer to Emily

This is so cool. Right here as I am writing this, the co-author of The Lost Days (Jessica Gruner) is answering questions that the many Emily The Strange fans on the web forum have been itching to ask. I’m an aspiring writer, of course I’m going to get star struck when the real McCoy is knocking on my door in cyberspace.

When I first started reading The Lost Days I was apprehensive. I already had a vision of Emily in my mind, having written several stories centered around her myself. I honestly did not like it at first. I thought it was a pointless book. Then, I really got into it. As the mystery continuously unfolded I couldn’t put the book down.

Now, Emily is different in my mind, but maybe that’s for the best. She’s not my character to mold and create into my own; she’s Rob Reger’s, Buzz Parker’s and Jessica Gruner’s (and others too, I am sure). After devouring The Lost Days, I feel ten times closer to Emily than any of the other mini-books they came out with made me feel.

The Lollipop

I was little. I was stupid. That’s all I can say to defend myself on this subject.

We were at the Cracker Barrel years and years ago when there was one near us, and before or after going in to eat (I can’t remember), we were looking around at all of the cool things hanging out at the gift shop. My mom and I were looking at the stand of huge, colorful lollipops and she lifted one out of its socket and asked if I wanted it.

I stupidly shook my head no. I was little. I was stupid.

I had this strange idea in my mind that little kids like myself weren’t allowed to have those giant lollipops. I must have thought there was alcohol in them or something. I couldn’t believe that my mother was offering me a lollipop – I shook my head to diminish what I thought to be her “bad” parenting.

Ever since then, I have been kicking myself for not accepting that lollipop.

So, after watching my friend Kevin run at the New York State track meet at Syracuse, we saw a sign for the Cracker Barrel. Since they have become sort of extinct in our secluded neck of the woods in Western New York, his parents decided it was a good idea to stop there for some ice cream. Instantly I exclaimed: “yes! I can finally get me a giant lollipop!” And then, of course, I had to tell them the story of The Lollipop. Well, instead of getting only ice cream we ended up having a whole huge meal (which I was totally okay with). Then Kevin and I were lollygagging around the candy section of the gift shop (with me singing “I’ll take you to the candy shop. I’ll let you lick the lollipop.“) and I picked out the identical twin to the lollipop my mom held up to me so long ago.

Two dollars and seventy-nine cents later, it became mine. I had this crazy idea that I would lick it once a day everyday to see how long it would last, but I have since decided not to do that (”then it would get all nasty,” said Kevin). Instead, it is sitting on the shelf of my desk, waiting for my tongue to begin its process of withering away into my mouth in a sugar-coated frenzy. I have yet to remove its wrapper and taste the sugary goodness within. Maybe I’ll never taste it. Who knows? Maybe I will just keep it for its sentimental value.

You couldn’t possibly understand

I’m nice right now, man
I-I feel good
If you have a drink
Would you please put it in the air?

That party last night was awfully crazy I wish we taped it
I danced my ass off and had this one girl completely naked
Drink my beer and smoke my weed but my good friends is all I need
Pass out at 3, wake up at 10, go out to eat then do it again
Man, I love college

I wanna go to college for the rest of my life
Sip Banker’s Club and drink Miller Lite
On Thirsty Thursday and Tuesday Night Ice
And I can get pizza a dollar a slice

So fill up my cup, let’s get fucked up
I’m next on the table, who want what?
I am champion at beer pong
Allen Iverson, Hakeem Olajuwon

Don’t even bounce, not in my house
Better hope you make it otherwise you naked
Time isn’t wasted when you’re getting wasted
Woke up today and all I could say is

Um, that party last night was awfully crazy I wish we taped it
I danced my ass off and had this one girl completely naked
Drink my beer and smoke my weed but my good friends is all I need
Pass out at 3, wake up at 10, go out to eat then do it again

Man, I love college, ay!
And I love drinking, ay!
I love women, ay!
Man, I love college

I can’t tell you what I learned from school but
I could tell you a story or two, um
Yeah, of course I learned some rules
Like don’t pass out with your shoes on
(Get the Sharpie!)

And don’t leave the house ’til the booze gone
(No, we’re not leaving)
And don’t have sex if she’s too gone
When it comes to condoms put two on
(Trust me)
Then tomorrow night find a new jawn

Hold the beer bong, nothing wrong with some fun
(Here, hold this)
Even if we did get a little bit too drunk
Time isn’t wasted when you’re getting wasted
Woke up today and all I could say is

That party last night was awfully crazy I wish we taped it
(I wish we taped)
I danced my ass off and had this one girl completely naked
Drink my beer and smoke my weed but my good friends is all I need
Pass out at 3, wake up at 10, go out to eat then do it again

Man, I love college, ay!
I love drinking, ay!
I love women, ay!
I love college

Now if everybody would please
Put their drink as high as they can
As high as they can
(As high as they can)
And repeat after me

Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!
Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!
Freshmen! Freshmen!
Freshmen! Freshmen!

Do something’ crazy! Do somethin’ crazy!
Do something’ crazy! Do somethin’ crazy!
Keg stand! Keg stand!
Keg stand! Keg stand!

(That party last night)
Man, I love college
I love it!
(That party last night)
Alright everybody, I gotta head back to class for a little bit

That party last night was awfully crazy I wish we taped it
(I wish we taped)
(You know it’s going down)
I danced my ass off and had this one girl completely naked
Drink my beer and smoke my weed but my good friends is all I need
(You’re all invited, bring your friends)
Pass out at 3, wake up at 10, go out to eat then do it again
Man, I love college

Do I really have to graduate?
Or can I just stay here for the rest of my life?

Oh, by the way, if you didn’t know, those are lyrics to the song “I Love College” by Asher Roth. I have never taken the time to listen to the inappropriate song, but I’ve read the lyrics. How stupid. I don’t understand college students. Maybe I won’t understand until I am one, but right now they all seem incredibly stupid and should be stripped of any diplomas they receive.

I cannot stand these girls that come back to town after one year of college. They return with their hair dyed super dark and a tan that is obviously way too fake to be real. Again, this may be a trend that I just can’t possibly understand until I have reached that age, but for now this change (to me) seems dramatic when I see the girl who used to have beautiful blonde or brown hair come back and find that it’s jet black. It’s a shame, really.

Another thing I just don’t understand is the necessity for tattoos and body piercings. These people that get giant tattoos while they are off at college are going to look at their naked selves in the mirror in twenty years and think why the hell did I ever get this stupid tattoo? Yeah, why did you ever get that stupid thing? I’ll probably end up  getting a tattoo…but it’s not going to be a giant work of art that goes across my entire body. It’ll be something small that can easily be hidden should I have a job interview in the future (hopefully I do haha).

Maybe I just cannot possibly understand.